gosh,

Gosh,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I cannot accept,
and the wisdom to hide the bodiesof those people I had
to kill today because they pissed me off.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on
today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have
to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work...
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Fridays

And help me to remember...
When I'm having a really bad day,
and it seems that people are trying to piss me off,
that it takes 42 muscles to frown and
only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me!

forgive me....:(

In my heart holds the sorrow for words spoken

and words left unsaid that have failed to tell you how much

you mean to me. Apologies mean nothing when they’re not

backed up by actions, and that’s why I’m saying this to you,

"I’m sorry". I’m willing to take the actions that are necessary to

make sure that I lift you up more than bring you down and that I am

always a positive force in your life. Please give me the opportunity

to show you these things and not just say them to you on ink-filled

paper. Mama nita...i love you! I really do. Happy Mothers day and i

hope you have the chance and time to read this thoughts of mind.

LIFE 101

If you want to sail on the wings of the cloud, where to well nobody knows and cry, cry if you want them to see… die everyday to be free. Be proud to wear the colors that you call your own. Be loud, speak out what you want the world to know. Be strong, hold the flame for everyone to see. Be weak, if you want to love…

SEO...

i am wondering right now what SEO is all about. Since monday, April 19, 2010, lots of idea keep on tumbling. I said to myself," wow! what a journey....do i need to try this one? what a F**k!hahahaha but let us see if i can conquer this kind of world that i wasnt expected to be one of the optimizers..:)

:(missing you..

Your bitter goodbye is ringing through this quiet night,
This idle hour just wont pass
I've never missed you this much, never thought I would,
Didn't think you'd feel so far away
And your summer perfume is still blowing through this hallway,
Autumn's amber red shadows dance
I miss our midnight spoys on excentrix,GA is gone

And so go past the lights and all the excuses
You could have left "sincerely yours"
Don't you think it's obvious that I want to say more?
Cause anything too daring to say to you,
Will be said in this letter, then burned away
So you never realize, I'm here..i'm just here...waiting:(

dah!

words said by my bes like ‘corners of my mind’ and ’searching for signs’ are just things that brought me tumbling back into emotions unknown where i left them way into oblivion which i believe they should be. when you just thought you had you’re defenses all wound up around its when you’re caught off guard on simple things that hits home and wham! there you go soft all over and think where did all go wrong?

sometimes i guess being human is soo hard with all its vulnerability. i dunno whats with that word but heck it scares the heck out of me. for a time being its been easier for me (a lot easier) to stay oblivious of how things felt way when i had them. it helps that i’ve got a carefree spirit, i can easily escape away from distractions or should i say things that i consider distractions, but sometimes when it come crashing down on you, you just dont know what hit ya right on. my bestfiend whose also my confidant asked me one time during our recent conversations if i AM TIRED.

NO, IM SHATTERED. and I feel those fragments of me are just floating in the air, suspended. they’re so tiny not chunks but tiny pieces of me. he stands unbelievable on my words, says how can someone so engaging can be silently shattered inside. why not? how can someone tell what the other IS feeling anyway? its not that im good at hiding what i feel but i just dont want people asking me ‘how come you’re so blah-blah-blah-blah’. for the record i dont easily spill unless i feel any connection to a person which is not that often and few only knew so im kinda safe.

then all he said was ‘blame it to hurt,youre still holding on to it’. what the heck? that sent me spinning way back into reality. it spelled in four letter word O-U-C-H! i wasnt aware of that until he said it straight to me. how much i wanted to deny his words but i couldnt. somehow he put me (again) out of words.

so be it. let the damn hurt be the culprit. he said it all out. sigh. when i couldnt say anything to parr his words that well held some truth, he calmly told me ‘i know how you’re feeling..instead of thinking what you’re missing try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.‘ and that THAT one made me break my silence. he listened as i told him that even im having the time of my life i still feel hollow, theres someone i long to be with but im stopping myself because things couldnt.. well you got the rest no need for me to spill.

he went on saying that in the ‘corner of my mind’ im still thinking of that someone who got away but then again i stopped ’searching for the signs’ for a second chance or for another one to come, and sometimes it occur to me that i maybe the one who got away instead of her. now that may sound egotiscal but hey he has some thought for his words. my bes loved soo much and got badly hurt again, again and again, so he may really know what hes talking about.

i was silent for awhile pondering his words. i heard him sigh saying ‘its okay to cry’.

soo my bes thought I was crying. i surprised him by laughing out loud, my hollow laugh. but then again he surprised me by his words ‘you cant fool me,you’re sad’. honestly im dried up,wanna cry but cant for some unknown reason I don’t wanna name. ‘you wanna be like me?don’t be..’ were his words to me along with it was our favorite spiel from spiderman movie ‘if I punch you,you’ll still bleed.right?’

i guess im not numb after all. what he told me hit a spot. i assured him by saying out the correct spiderman movie spiel before I’d cry: ‘punch me, I bleed.